9/24/14 03:13 am - jaw break
Settling, settling, settling. Shit's chaotic... I'm trying to manage my stress and it isn't exactly working. Everything is conflicting...
- Taylor's stay is a topic unto itself, and while it's had its annoying points, mostly I have been very grateful to have him here this week. We drive around sampling Austin's finest food trucks and singing our silly songs, and watching Chopped and making fun of the contestants. But, he is leaving in the morning, and on top of that, Sam is not really happy about... Any of it. Understandably. I am looking forward to having some free-ish time to get my shit together once Taylor leaves, though.
- I'm trying to do well at my shelter job and prove myself, but I don't have a computer yet, still (?????) and as such am out of the loop on some things. Having taco job from Wed-Sun this week is also limiting my ability to go to some meetings. However, I would rather not quit either job. Taco job comes with its own stressors but is in a way a relief, because of the atmosphere... It's chaotic but less doom and gloom than the shelter. Co-workers roll their eyes at me in solidarity when customers are difficult and make innuendo jokes with each other. And I know that despite my own self- centered gripes with the shelter job, my presence and assistance is really needed by the clients and staff.
- Logistics. My apartment still isn't unpacked, it's getting dirtier... I need a TX driver's license for my shelter job and got documents prepared to go into the DMV today, but of course I first have to get my insurance and registration switched over which is a huge fucking pain in the ass. I'm pissed at myself for not doing it sooner, but I also know I would have if I could have.
- I'm disappointed (prematurely) for not having life magically be better here... I like it here mostly so far, but making friends is going to be a process.
I've been thinking more and more about doing something structured-yet-loosey-goosey after my AmeriCorps position ends in July. I think I might finally be ready to travel, to shirk major responsibilities and just work on farms or paint by the sea or something. Planning for that is something to do... And hopefully I can save some money this year to do it.
Mostly I miss feeling in control. I don't have a sense of security in my organizational skills right now and I don't have my optimism to lean on. I'm so tired and must... Sleep...